Is on the ledge

FOr Heavens sake, i pray to god....seriously i cant stand it anymore....so many problems...i oways write how perfect we are...nice stuff abt us..bt tis relationship is like so superficial to the outside world.....you all can judge that i am a lousy bf but for a bf who traveled all the way to see his gf ....few thousand miles and barely 1mth till i reach msia and so many effing problems....dun judge me plz....i choose to be in tis relationship, i choose to b wif her and if bein wif her makes me like tis..then so be it.....every1 thks i screw up all the time...well let juz keep it dat way than pointin fingers...she cant accept my past, she cant trust me when trust is important...so wats the point eh...we are juz tormentin ourselves........i love her but sumtimes sanity and emotions are juz as important...so help me god....HELP me